


The hypocrite

by ArexuChan



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Breeding Kink, Conscious reader, Cult, Daddy Kink, Dark, Drug-Induced Sex, Drugged Sex, Drugs, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fourth Wall Break, Jealousy, Marking, Marriage, Masturbation, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Obsessive Behavior, Parallel Universe, Paranoia, Peeping, Possessive Behavior, Self Harm, Spying, Suicide Attempt, What-If, paralyze, reader - Freeform, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27838453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArexuChan/pseuds/ArexuChan
Summary: This is a "what if" for the story Sweet, sweet isolation made by KleoHoney.Plot:You "wake up" in another universe, one you know really well. After seeing Bucky to your side in the kitchen, you decide to escape from this world before Steve and him can trap you if their sick fantasy. From now on, you do everything you can to escape the Shield facility before it's too late.Warn: This story won't make sense if you don't read Sweet, sweet isolation first
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 23
Kudos: 81





	1. Fallen in a trap

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KleoHoney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KleoHoney/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sweet, Sweet Isolation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23280781) by [KleoHoney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KleoHoney/pseuds/KleoHoney). 



> Credit: KleoHoney
> 
> I read their story and thought to develop it in a slightly different way. Some things are the same from the original story, but the way the reader reacts and behaves is entirely made by me.
> 
> Remember to read Sweet, sweet isolation first or else this story won't make sense!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the universe of a story you read not long ago. You still remember what happened and you don't want to stay one more minute.

_What am I doing?_

...

What's this weird sensation I'm feeling? I can't focus my eyes on anything I have in sight. Everything is blurred, which fuels the confusion spreading in my head. There's taste of... bacon? Right in my mouth. _Am I eating?_ I ask myself, blinking in a rushed pattern to define my surroundings. The first thing that comes in view is my hand, and a fork trapped in between the fingers. To confirm my suspicions, I lower my gaze to spot a dish of toasts and fried eggs. The latters with the center still hot and untouched. So I was right: I'm - apparently - feasting over an american breakfast, but I can't remember anything I did before nor when I got the food.

The motion feels slow as weeks but my orbs eventually begin to travel around me, fixing on the informations my pupils can take in. At first glance, I can tell I'm in a huge kitchen, seated at what seems an analogue table. It's full of women and men chattering, each one with their own meal to eat. I can't recognize anybody. Somehow, my attention gets drawn by the grey walls that encircle us. _S_ _o eerie..._ I mentally label, my mind perturbed by their lifeless color.

The muffled noises I kept hearing just a minute ago are getting clearer, letting me concentrate on the sound of a deep voice coming in my right ear. It's so close it gives me chills. My back archs as I try to recall where I heard this person before. The revelation shocks me, a lamp switched on inside my brain when I realize. My eyes shot at the broad figure sitting next to me before my face fills with dread.

I can't stop my bottom lip from twitching downward, and I'm sure my pupils are blown all the same while I stare at him. It's James **fucking** Barnes! Bucky to his friends, and I can be damned if I'd ever want to be his friend in this situation. I've finally realized where I am, and as I was sure I knew this place, I also understand why I couldn't remember how I got here. _It's the damn scenery from that fanfiction!_ I curse, reminding myself to keep the thought quiet while I recall the story I read not long ago. This doesn't quite look like what I imagined, but the vibes I get here are identical. I wonder if I'm just having a lucid dream, or if I'm stuck in a sort of parallel universe. Either way, I just want to get back in my bed.

 _I_ _t's true I enjoyed the settings..._ I must be honest with myself, _but I never_ _really_ _wanted a psycho to be obsessed with me, let alone two of them_ _,_ the consideration gently grows louder inside my head. Mixed emotions begin to rise within me, which only fuel the swirl of thoughts running beneath my thick skull. _Reason_ _ **[Your name]**_ _!_ My own name produces an echo, the same voice from before being the second repetition. "Are you okay?" asks the man beside me before I snap out of my trance, "y-yeah, everything's fine," I reply, trying to control my voice and not let it pitch.

I immediately steady my breath and stop the tremor of my hand, _it's not the moment to give away your feelings._ I scold myself and the truth finally starts to eat my guts, my stomach twisting in discomfort in the meantime.

"You weren't answering me." Bucky's gaze dances up and down my body as his left eyebrow slightly rise.

"Sorry-" I act on time- "I was spacing out. What were you saying?" I question before turning my attention back to the fork in my right hand, the latter now full of sweat.

"I said you looked lonely," he says nonchalantly.

"Guess I am, but it's in my nature," I reply fast, uncomfortable in his presence.

For a moment I linger on the idea to just leave him here and run for it, but as my eyes wander to find the exit, my hopes soon sink in. I know I won't get away only with a sprint, and I shouldn't let my fears surface on my look. If they sense that something is wrong with me, they'll catch me before I even reach for the door, and then trap me here forever.My first thought remains the same though: use everything I learned from reading to avoid getting caged. _Just wait. I'll get the right chance._

I keep trying to reassure myself, but it doesn't help me finish my meal. I should go onwith the part, and yet I can't bring myself to eat what's left on the plate.Unfortunately, I lack of luck as my inside churl, disgusted by the situation while the stress only adds to it. The faint growl only attracts the winter soldier as a result, "fuck..." I curse under my breath, not wanting to be heard. And obviously, it triggers his eyes as they land on my shirt, shamelessly staring with a quizzical look in them.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" Bucky turns to me, gaze unreadable.

My **[color]** orbs travel over an undefined spot as I try to recall what happened last night. The memory is hazy, since I didn't know the info would be so vital right now. I recollect the image of a woman, shivering in her bed while her eyes glance at the window. My gaze lights up when I recognize it's me, and so every piece comes to place. _Of course it's me!_ I confirm scornful, wondering whether the shadow 'I saw' was probably one of them checking on me. _Or_ _were they already influencing me?_ The thought provokes a chill to run down my spine before I quiver in fear. And I'm sure Bucky has noticed, but he doesn't say a word.

"Uh..." I begin to say, clearing my voice as I take the first step; the one toward what will- probably- be my freedom. "You know, I actually think it was my imagination. That's all," I let the phrase out, a giggle soon following it. It's obviously not funny and nothing to laugh at, but I must be careful with my actions or choice of words, or else the next thing I'll know is me being trapped in this place forever.

"I'm feeling tired," I push the plate away from me, "I think I'll head back to my cabin," I add before I stand on my feet.

"Let us accompany you." I hear Steve's voice calling from behind me.

It startles me but I don't lose my composure, acting just natural and hiding the dread and fear I feel in their presence. So I nod when he proposes it, realizing I don't remember the way to my cabin.

Once we begin to walk, my mind clouds with confusion; lost in a world I surprisingly recognize and yet that feels foreign on my skin. The touch of the air, the color of the sky... everything is different and yet the same. I let my eyes linger over the details of this small city, taking in the view of the roads coated with fresh snow. _Is this Canada? I can't remember._ My gaze fix for a moment over the red tip of my nose, seeing the cold having its affect on my body's temperature. As I get distracted by such a little detail, I return to focus on my plan to run away from here.

_I have a car..._

_But it's broken, right?_ I mentally remind myself, going back and forth with the talk.

 _I could say that I'm ill-_ I stop abruptly- _no no, they would only keep me here._

I try to not lose balance while I walk, distracted by all the thoughts spinning in my head. I almost bump into Steve but manage to stay on a straight line. _Maybe a family member?_ I wonder, my orbs searching for advantages against the super soldiers as I stare at them. _Fuck. Think straight_ _ **[Your name]**_ _,_ I curse under my breath, scolding myself as I remember that I don't talk to my family in this universe. Are they even my family at this point? My sister Rhea is the reason I came here, but she's not actually my sister. _Just a place holder_ _for a trap_ _..._

We eventually arrive at my cabin, which looks like a tiny house seen from the outside. The walls are plain and without character. Conversely, the inside has an odd hotel style: totally different from what I remember I read. There's a double bed, which almost matches a king size. A television sits across it and the bathroom is just right next to the window of my memories. That's the only thing that hasn't changed much.

I fret to take a quick glance around and make sure there are no hidden cameras. I cannot trust them as they would certainly want to keep an eye on me. _Sick perverts,_ I roar, my thought loud underneath my skull. I can't stop my insides from twisting in disgust and slight terror.

_I. Must. Be. Careful._

My eyes dart on my belongings, knowing that I shouldn't take them with me... not the luggage anyway. There's no margin for error, and having a weight that would slow me down, while warning Steve and Bucky that something is off, is not a choice. I need to look after the smallest detail when I prepare an escape plan. And as I lose myself in a trail of thoughts, the sound of Steve clearing his throat makes me realize he's still here, right behind my back.

"Yes?" I question, hesitant but hopefully looking relaxed.

"Natasha and Rhea are busy today, and since I thought you'd feel bored..." he begins to say when someone walks past him.

Bucky. **Obviously**.

I almost forgot he's been with us all the way from the kitchen. He was always a step behind me, probably to look after me. I don't know why but I get a weird vibe from him; it feels like he doesn't trust me somehow, but as far as I can remember, I never gave him proof to believe the opposite. _Weird._ I sense the venom roll over my tongue when I curse his presence, always careful to not say a word out of my mind.

"We could keep you company," says the man with the prosthetic arm.

The panic suddenly grows in my entrails as my eyelids get wide open. I can't let them waste my time. I urgently need to come up with an excuse and make them leave the cabin.

"Well," I find it kinda hard to not stutter, "I was thinking to take a shower, and maybe relax a bit after that?" I put my words as a question, having some trouble to lie even if my life depends on it.

Steve's cheeks get vivid, a faint shade of red and embarrassment covering the smooth skin. The unintended reaction makes me want to hit him square in the jaw. _What a fucking pervert._ It makes me sick to know what he's obviously picturing in his head right now. "What about spending the time together this evening?" Bucky steps in, catching my attention as his voice is filled with a veil of lust. I can't drag this too much or they'll get suspicious, so I nod, my vocal cords broken as they don't collaborate anymore. The two kidnappers smile and finally leave me alone. For a moment, I'm afraid to hear the door lock behind them, but the awful noise never comes. _I'm on my own now_ _._

My legs slide toward the bed, the pace normal while my eyes gaze around the room. From the outside, I should be looking like I'm just taking a look, but I'm actually searching for any kind of recording device. Both audio and video. But as nothing comes in view, I sigh in relief.

My right hand reaches for my chest and I sit down onto the mattress, striving to come up with a good plan. My first thought goes to a way to defend myself. A weapon would probably come in hand sooner or later, although I'm not sure whether I'd be capable to physically hurt them. I could still grab a knife from the main kitchen just in case. _Yeah, that will do,_ I think in approval before I feel all my energies drain out of my muscles. So unexpectedly.

I try to recall how I escaped in the actual story but all I remember is a helicopter. I had to gain Steve and Bucky's trust to get close to it, but I'm not willing to remain here more than necessary. I immediately discard the idea as it comes in my mind, shaking my head to toss it aside. Once again, the idea to say that someone is ill tempts me, but I must make it believable. I check my phone to search for a contact of some sort of friend, someone I'm close to. The screen lights up and the 'no signal' symbol appears before my eyes.

I sigh, still not resigned. _I won't let them get me,_ I make myself the promise, my whole being quivering in the meantime. "No one would contact me here, huh?" I whisper as quietly as I can, filling for a moment the great silence that rules in the cabin. I bite the inside of my cheek when I realize that I shouldn't talk, not when I'm alone or at any other time. _Keep quiet._ I no longer have privacy in my life.

 _So, the knife from the kitchen..._ I whisper even in my own mind, wanting to hide my thoughts as if they could hear me. _I could pretend I have forgotten something at home,_ I keep on planning, _and I can ask them to accompany me, so they won't panic and feel in control over the situation._

_First I'll need to pass under the radar and get the knife in my bag, fast so no one notices. Then I'll pretend there's something important I need to retrieve at my house._

I begin to walk toward the bathroom.

_I must assure them I'll return once I got it so they won't get alarmed._

I run the cold water and splash it on my face, wetting my hair and neck as well.

_I'll have to keep myself on my toes, just to be sure they won't play any trick to me._

My fingers slide between the locks of hair. My eyes slowly rise from the sink to the mirror and I look at the woman reflecting in it. It calms my nerves.

_I must be careful,_ I repeat to myself.


	2. Time to get ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You prepare yourself to escape from the shield facility before Steve and Bucky notice there's something wrong with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will have slow updates. In case I may want to discontinue it, I will release an author chapter to let you all know, so don't be afraid if nothing is posted for weeks.

I lift my leg and slide it over the bathtub, my action unsure when I hit the mat and a few drops wet it. The shower was too hot. _I needed to calm myself_ _,_ I justify, my sight not clear due to the steam blurring the air in the small room.

My skin is burning but my first thought goes to the towel, covering my chest and lower region as I'm suddenly self-conscious. I doubt they would be so bold to put a camera in here, but the fear stills in me and I don't want to risk it. Better not to linger. _I'm not embarassed..._ I deny while I think of the soldiers seeing me naked. _Ok_ _, maybe I am. But who wouldn't be in such a situation?_ I rhetorically ask, sensing my cheeks grow warm at the thought of being spied. My entire body shudders, a quiet reminder to not 'imagine' anything. I quickly shake my head to push the thought aside.

"That really brought my strength back," I gently whisper, sliding a shirt over my head in the meantime. It falls on my stomach and hides my waist; andfor a moment, I enjoy the feeling of comfort it gives me being clean. Although, even if I feel satisfied for a second, there's no more time to waste now.

I finish to cover my body and then walk toward the sink. I'm ready to start my route and a fire reflects in my irises as I look at the mirror, the determination filling them as a result. I begin to march in the main room and my hand reaches for my bag. I take a slow breath, look around and turn it upside down to empty its content. The first thing I recover from the mess it's my phone, which might come in handy. I just haveto change the sim card so they won't track me down. _I could also resell it in order to gain more money_ _,_ I ponder while clutching the few cash I have in my wallet. I'll obviously need resources to survive on the run. And even if I'm not sure what will happen to me, I have to be prepared for anything.

It's time to leave this place, and after cleaning the mess I just created, I take a brisk glance outside the front window. It seems like a snowy desert out there, and yet, my back arches when a chill runs down to the base. I must go out when there's nobody to witness me, and even if now looks like my chance, my guts are straight yelling to me to take a different path. Perhaps, there is somebody I can't 'see', but that my brain recognize it's watching from afar. It doesn't matter, I had a plan B from the beginning.

I back away, take my coat and get in the bathroom. I didn't want to use the window near the tub as it is too small, but I don't have a choice. Plus, it faces on the back of the cabin. _You can do this,_ I reassure myself, pushing the glass up and sliding my things out. Hopefully they'll cushion my fall.

I first pass through with my shoulders, then I use my feet to leverage and drop onto the ground. _There better not be cameras or else I'm fucked_ _!_ I think before the snow deadens my fall. Luckily, I don't get hurt, at least if I don't count the pain in my ribs after bending over the wood frame. I wonder if they built this cabin years ago or if they just enjoy the old look- "stop getting distracted-" I nearly yell to myself. My hands quickly reach to cover my mouth, as I don't want anyone to hear me already.

I'm freezing so I recover the coat and the bag, wearing the first one and gripping onto the second to get - somehow - warmth. _Bear it,_ I tell myself several times, walking in stealth mode to not draw the attention. If I'm lucky, I won't be seen from Steve and Bucky's house. But then again, when was I ever lucky in this story?

I get half the way behind the small cabins, only to reach the main road once I'm sure I can avoid everyone's eyes. My target is the major structure: once I'll be there I'll head to the kitchen and steal the knife.

My feet hit the snow and it releases a small crunch with every step. As I walk past the small houses, I almost wonder if there was the end of the world, and I somehow didn't see it coming. It's weird to proceed like this: alone with my own thoughts while I stroll in the streets without anyone stopping me. It gives me the illusion I'm still free. Surely, it also bursts my confidence since the chances to get out are slowly rising.

As I lose myself in the trail of thoughts, I reach the kitchen without even realizing it. My eyes take a look around as the panic fills my chest; _a_ _ct natural, act natural!_ I yell, tuning a little song right after that. _If there was somebody, they would hear me and speak to me... right?_ I reflect, hearing only my voice in the empty space.

My pupils move left and right to spot anything suspicious. My muscles relax once I find nothing to worry about, so my legs move on their own. They drag me toward the kitchen drawers and my right hand opens one of them. "So angry~" I start singing, "I could eat the whole fridge~" I keep humming to justify my actions.

I bend my head forward as my sight fixes on the sharp blade. My eyes widen in hope: _quick!_ I open the bag and shove the knife in it, closing the zip afterward. Now I'm ready to get out but my shoulders tense, my back soon following them when I hear a noise coming from behind me. Goose bumps form on my skin as the classic chill rushes down my spine.

"Doll, what are you doing here?" I immediately recognize the voice.

"I thought we'd spend some time together." I turn around to face him, the blood freezing when he speaks.

"I was hungry," I'm fast to reply, "so I decided to make a quick stop and eat something..." I let out a soft laugh.

My words die in the throat as I'm sure Bucky heard the tension in my tone. _C_ _ome on! Don't let your emotions spill out, not right now_ _._ I scold myself, although I'm actually surprised I didn't stutter. I keep eye contact with the man, a tiny smile playing on my lips in the meantime as a way to reassure him. _Everything is fine,_ I try to let him know. I remember the fact that Steve is feral and manipulative, but Bucky... the winter soldier is able to read people out pretty well. I must be extra careful with him. After all, being smart and dangerous is a great combination to take control over anyone, indeed.

I glance at the door behind him, my eyes off him just for a brief moment, but I know it's enough to make the brunette snap out of his thoughts. "Here. Let me help you," he says, approaching me with a reassuring grin on his lips- which doesn't makes me feel any safer around him. I let him stand beside me nonetheless.

His right hand reaches for the drawer with the knifes. I almost jump as my mind thought he'd get the one in my bag, but it seems like he doesn't know and that takes a soft sigh out of my mouth. I bet he - at least - noticed how relieved I am, yet I can't bring myself to care at the moment. _I should stop giving me such liberties._

"You wanted a sandwich, right?" Bucky asks as he gets in front of the fridge.

"Oh, yes," I blurt out.

The winter soldier then begins to ask me about the ingredients, to which I keep nodding without really listening. I occasionally let out a 'yes' or some other positive responses while my mind travels. It doesn't matter that he's still here with me: I don't stop from further develop my plan, mentally checking every detail to improve it and rise the chances for it to work fine.

I sit at the grey table from this morning, my **[color]** orbs fixing on the plain surface before I fold my hands together. _What could I use as an excuse to get out of here?_ I ask myself thoughtfully, my brain smoking with different options and outcomes, all that would let me achieve my ultimate goal. _I cannot hurt them..._ I collect my thoughts, recalling the fact that they're way stronger and more resilient that I am. _Maybe I could fake a panic attack to worry them,_ I consider the option, _it should work, only if I convince them to accompany me out of this place._ I let a small smirk unconsciously appear on my face.

" **[Your name]**?" Bucky's voice brings me back to the reality.

"Y-yes?" I stutter dumbfounded.

"Your sandwich," he utters and points to the plate in front of me.

"Oh, thank you," I mumble before wrapping my fingers around it.

_Don't let him notice,_ I scold myself, my smile soon replaced by the grimace of disgust for the taste in my mouth. I should've probably listened to him when he filled me with all those questions. Though I cannot waste time; every second is crucial to succeed.

I do my best to hide the wince after each bite. Despite I try to keep my gaze on the food, it's getting difficult to do so for every second that passes with Bucky's eyes on me. He's openly staring at me, no shame while I eat, which - to point out - makes me uncomfortable on many levels. It's probably because I know his true nature, or perhaps not? He looks kinda angry at me. _Wait,_ I realize, _was it because I was too formal with him?_ I wonder while replaying the answer in my mind. _Could really the difference between 'thank you' and 'thanks' change his mood?!_ I freak out, disturbed by the mental query.

I choose to ignore the inquisitive blue orbs, but I must admit they distract me between the bites I take. At some point a dribble of mustard dirty my lower lip, and when I notice, I immediately clean it with my tongue to not let him think about doing it for me. _Okay, that was a mistake._ I sigh, the anger flooding my mind as my eyes catch the view of his face filling with lust. The action must've been hot for him, not at all for me. This makes me feel even worse, as if my body is covered with mustard. Bucky looks like he's ready to swallow me whole in a bite.

"Do I have something on my face?" I abruptly ask, no longer having the temper to stay quiet while he stares at me. My eyes shot up to look at his, and so I notice a faint quiver going on his bottom lip. It seems he didn't realize he was watching me eating.

"No," he's quick to reply.

"Then I guess you must really want to taste my sandwich," I say as a sadistic thought hatches within me. A nervous, small laugh escapes my lips. It feels like the perfect excuse to make him cut off the creepy behavior. I also have the chance to stop swallowing the poisoned food, making him sick with the awful taste of trash I got in my hands.

I get up and push the chair behind me, finding it oddly easy to step closer to Bucky. My hands squeeze the two slices of bread as I stretch my arms to give it to him. I expect the man to get the sandwich and have a taste, but instead his blue eyes look up at my **[color]** ones, his canines showing slightly before he chews down. His teeth are barely an inch away from my fingers when I feel his hot breath hitting against them.

I promptly pull away, startled by his actions. "Damn it Bucky! You should be more careful," I look down at my nails to check if I still got them all, "you could've hurted me. That's not nice!" I say, voice dramatic before I let a sigh out.It seems like defusing the situation is working to gain his trust, since I finally hear him laugh along with me. _You're doing great! Keep going like this!_ I reassure myself as a grin plays on my lips.

"Come on Bucky! You're really keeping her all to yourself?"

My body freezes as I hear Steve talk. He stands leaned to the side of the door, his eyes fixed on the scene with a smirk showing all his thoughts. _You think I'm getting used to you two already..._ I speak to him in my mind, _but guess what? Not at all!_ A small chuckle leaves my throat while I think that. They probaly mistake it for a sign of me enjoying their presence, as they don't seem bothered. _Good._ I'm glad since it will just help me gain more of their trust.

"If I knew you were hungry, I would've cooked anything for you," says the blond man while he slowly approaches us.

"Ya know, I'm quite indipendent-" I realize my slip right away- "but Bucky beat you to it." Not only I just lied about being indipendent, but I also almost risked to upset them. I cannot afford to make another mistake. And I clearly see brunette frown from the corner of my left eye. Not that Steve is better at hiding his reaction. They surely don't like the idea of me not depending on them, but I couldn't stop myself from putting some distance between us. I don't want to numb my mind and fall right into their arms.

There's an intense silence in the room, which makes me feel like I'm running out of oxygen. I suddenly snap out of my trance, one step away from gasping for breath while I stiff. My eyes dart from the random spot I was staring, quickly traveling on the blond's figure before my brain spills different informations all together. _I should try it now,_ I tell myself as I remember they want to spend some time with me. Also, the memory of them kidnapping me at the end of this day comes to the surface. The dread stills in me when I comprehend how close I am to the dangerous sequence. _It's now or never!_ I quietly yell as I work up the courage to do it.

"I-" I'm suddenly cut off by a penetrating voice coming from behind me- "say **[Your name]** , are you still up to do something with us?" asks Bucky as he gets up from the chair and stands beside me. His blue eyes are somewhat serious, and I feel violated by his gaze. I wish I could cover my body at the moment. "W-well," I stutter, finding myself unprepared for what comes next, "I mean- why not? I saw there are a few board games at my place." I quickly recover upon the stumble I just had.

My muscles twitch under the skin as I feel naked, both their gaze is on me for a moment. It looks like they are talking to each other on some telepathic plane, none diverting their eyes from me while I wait for a reply. _Damn, somebody talk..._ I pray as cold sweat begins to cover my forehead. "I was actually going to propose it to you but you beat me to it!" Steve recovers the conversation before sharing a warm smile. I'm so pleased to hear his voice, it actually distracts me from the fact that Bucky's face is still inexpressive. In so few hours, I constantly felt like they know there's something wrong with me, and I bet the winter soldier is really aware of it. He just doesn't talk about it. _Yet._

Steve's grin falters as I force myself to mimic his action, quietly following him from behind while we walk out of the kitchen. The steps fill the unstable silence and I grow anxious. _I don't want to stay here any longer..._ I whisper in my head, once again afraid that somehow they might hear my thoughts leaking out of my brain.

I'm tensed all the way to my cabin, but once we get inside, my shoulders finally relax. I'm fast to surpass the blondie and drop the bag to the side of the bed. I don't want them to get curious on why I had it with me in the first place. Though I have the weird feeling they are already interested.

"What would you like to play?" My voice rises in the middle of the sentence, but I play it cool and ignore it.

"How about Monopoly?" Steve asks before he sits on the edge of the bed.

"That sounds lovely."

I obviously pretend to be into it so they don't suspect a thing. My hands take a hold of the game box as I open it onto the floor, this while Bucky lays on his side and watches my every move. I'm not sure if he's either amazed by my beauty of if he's analyzing me. Not that it matters since I always get uncomfortable when his eyes are on me.

I keep to dwell on the right time, the thought present and strong from the moment we left the major structure. Now I see the opportunity, so I quickly take it. My eyes shift from the board game to the suitcase I brought here with me. "Can you get it ready for me, please?" I turn to Bucky, staring at his blue orbs while a smile of circumstance plays on my look. His face stays the same, but I see his sight believing that the curve of my lips is genuine.

The brunette listens to me and I get on my feet before walking toward Steve. He's ready to make room for me to sit beside him. I also notice how his arm is trembling to wrap around my waist, but on the other side, I reach for the suitcase and nearly drop it in his lap. _Damn, it would've been fun to see his balls crash like windows 95._ I smirk while opening the zip and fuss around.

"What are you doing?" I ignore the blond's question as I pretend to get nervous, now frantically searching for something I know doesn't even exist. I keep my vision forward, but I can see his brow furrow from the corner of my right eye, this as one of his hands reaches for my arm. "Wait-" he tries to stop me but I don't acknowledge him- "what are you searching for?" he asks, his fingers sinking in the meat of my shoulders. My face fills with fake terror while I take a quick glance toward Bucky, just to be sure he believes me like Steve seems to.

"I-I have to go!" I stutter, having a hard time to suppress the grin that grows at my good acting.

"WHAT?" Steve's voice rises, his vocal chords trembling due to the shock.

"What do you mean 'you have to go'?" On the other side, Bucky's one gets some kind of dark shade in it, which makes me get goose bumps over my arms.

"I-I really have to go home!"

They share a quick look before turning their attention to me. It's getting easier to pretend I'm in a rush, obviously because I start to feel the need to leave this place as fast as possible.

"Explain it to us." Bucky's tone is authoritative.

"I forgot something very important," I say, "and I can't _literally_ live without it..." I put some urge to be more dramatic, my intent to worry them but not to the point they should know what I'm talking about.

"And what is it?" the brunette asks. _Shit,_ I curse before the thoughts run fast to come up with a simple explanation. "W-well," my throat hitches, "I-I..." _I feel trapped._

"It's something I'd rather not talk about, you see." I hope the mystery card will work for this, but I'm not sure I'll get out of here alive.

"How are we supposed to get it for you if we don't know what is it?" Steve's voice makes my nightmare come true.

I can't let them even think about keeping me here. I must find a way to dodge this problem and get out of this place, with or without them.

"That's why I have to go home and take it m-myself," I cannot help but stammer, which is starting to annoy me. I obviously did it on purpose the first time, but now my emotions are controlling my tongue.

In less than twelve hours, I yet again feel as if my body is deprived from any coverage, ripped from clothes while the two men seem to share one mind alone. Their eyes dart from each other before getting back on me, repeating the process for a couple of times. Even if I can only imagine what they're thinking, Bucky's expression seems to say something like _'We can't let her go'_ , while Steve is more on the line of _'We'll be fine',_ as if to reassure his partner that I'm harmless. That I _won't get anywhere._

"I-I know it's probably asking too much, but..." I recall the fact that I'm supposed to stay just a few days, "since my car is getting fixed, I was wondering if one of you could accompany me at home." I take a deep breath to calm down. I know they won't let me leave on my own, so it's best to play it safe.

"I could take a couple of days off," my lips twitch upward, "and stay longer due to the car travel." I try to keep my brows knitted together, but I begin to feel my face getting tired. _It's so damn hard to act,_ I think when my muscles flutter to relax. I loosen a bit the grip of my fake worry; and luckily, they don't seem to notice it. I release a small sigh and the silence turns to rule in the room.

I look at Steve. His eyes tell me he's the one I should hope will give me the green light. His eyelids flatter for a moment, as if he's regretting the next words I hear him say: "We'll accompany you." Every word is sweet in my ears.

"Oh, thank you!" I cannot hide the excitement, and without fully think through it, I wrap my arms around the blond's neck. I'm sure I must've surprised him since I feel his body tense up, not that it matters though. Everything I do is only making me gain more and more of their trust.

To Steve dismay, I pull away from him and feel his arms slowly leaving my waist. I miss the warmth they gave me but I surely don't miss the tightness they wrapped me in. "Sorry..." I mumble as my cheeks tint of a light red shade, "don't worry!" he quickly responds, his face coloring like mine. "Oh, I should get a car ready for us," he states before walking out of the cabin.

In all of this chaos, I just registered that Bucky acted like a spectator through the whole scene. He stared at us being intimate without interruption. _Creepy._ One thought spills out as his attention is now on me only, his blue orbs piercing my skin like I'm not wearing anything. Although I can sense something in his gaze... is that jealousy perhaps?

"I guess I have to thank you too," I laugh nervously, "so, I guess, thanks!" I spurt out while scratching my neck. Before I even realize it, his chest is hard against mine. Bucky is hugging me, his grip stronger than Steve's. "Oh..." that's all I'm able to say as I let myself go. Just a little.

_It won't hurt to enjoy the feeling of safety, right? Even if it comes from the very psycho keeping me trapped, right? He's so warm._


	3. Escape attempt failed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to get out of the shield facility without success.

My eyes are locked ahead, fixed on Steve and Bucky's home. The shoes release a small crunch with every step I take on the snow. My weight inevitably produces that sound similar to bones cracking, which only fuels the shivers I keep getting due to the cold. I'm still tricked by the dread to think the brunette has lied to me. He said he had to get his coat, and yet he managed to reach my cabin with only a light sweatshirt on. _He's also called the Winter soldier._ I laugh at the irony, trying to not think of how he might lock the door once I get inside the house. That is one of the many reasons why I won't go farther than the stairs.

"Come in," I hear him say while he holds the main door open, patiently waiting for me to come out of my trance and follow him."Oh, don't worry. I actually want to get some fresh air," I quickly reply, sitting on a rung of the front porch.He gives me a quizzical look, to which I don't say anything. He might as well think I'm trying to calm down from the 'panic attack' I had- like- ten minutes earlier.Though,he eventually gives up before heading inside. I'm certain if he pressured it, I would've surely had another crisis, and this time it would've been real. Luckily, his intentions were not as dark as I expected, and I'm glad of it. Perhaps, he simply thought it would be too cold to take a long trip without something heavy to wear.

A couple of minutes pass and I begin to feel my ass freezing against the wood. The blood is not getting on my toes anymore, saving the warmth for my vital organs so I don't die of exposure. My mind is empty asa foam of steam comes to life with each breath I take, which makes my attention draw toward the pinkish red of my cheeks and nose. The low clatter of my teeth chattering is loud enough to be heard, and that makes me wonder if all of this is not just a game. Maybe a test to force me to get inside so I won't freeze to death.

The gears inside my brain once more start - or rather stop - to work, letting the anxiety grow in my body as the rational thought is breaking apart. "Oh fucking dammit!" I curse, the lungs pushing all the air out with my voice before I hear someone cough behind me. My eyes automatically shot at Bucky's figure. _I didn't hear the door_ _!_ A pinch of terror loads in my pupils as his smile grows less.

"That's not alanguage a young lady like you should use," he comments.

"Sorry," I quickly try to stand up on my own, but he's faster.

"You should be glad it was me and not Steve who heard you," he declares while his hand reaches out for my arm, lifting me straight on my legs.

He's wearing a warm smile on his face, as to empathizewith me, but the act tells me a different story. He's probably enjoying every touch he can steal from me. _Disgusting,_ the thought is born before I realize it and so I force myself to hide the grimace. "C'mon," he says, "let's go," the winter soldier leads the way toward the entrace of this fucked up place.

As we walk, I can't warm myself anymore as the chills rule over my skin. The coat I'm wearing is not heavy enough and I bet Bucky has noticed I'm shivering. My eyelids shut for a moment, the orbs underneath them rolling as I ponder the idea: _it won't be_ _ **that**_ _bad,_ I repeat before taking action. Slowly; just as much time I need to grow the courage to do it, I walk closer to the man beside me. I sense our arms brush one against the other, this while a small grin takes place on his soft lips.

My **[color]** orbs finally see the metal alloy gate, and in the meantime, Bucky's prosthetic hand reaches for my hip. _No. No. No. No. No. Stay calm,_ I obviously tell myself, not showing my discomfort as I still need to get some warmth from him. The blond man standing in front of us seems to notice his hand though, and his eyes glow in both jealousy, and what seems a burst of 'love'. "Ready?" he asks, waiting beside the car with his right arm stretched toward me. I take a quick look at the vehicle and the only thing I can distinguish is the coal color, and also the fact that it looks pretty expansive. _The benefits of being an avenger._

"Yes," I briefly reply before getting in the backseat. The comfort of the back's material swallows me, warming my body while it makes my shoulders relax as well. It unconsciously drags out a relieved sigh from my mouth; only for a second as my mind immediately reminds me to check the knife. I swiftly look around and make sure no one can see, then I touch the bag... _it's still in there._ Once again I close my eyes, letting the tension drain out of my muscles.

The relief invades my senses, just for a few seconds before a 'click' draws my attention to my left. My eyelids casually flutter open as my pupils meet Bucky's broad chest. _Why is he sitting in the back??_ I panic at the thought and it clearly shows on my face, but I'm quick to hide my concern before a pair of blue orbs set on my **[color]** ones. The man stares at me, and now I'm sure I still have a confused expression on me.

"I don't like to sit in the front," he shrugs unbothered.

"Damn-" a nervous laugh escapes my lips as I try to ease the tension- "what if I wanted to lay down?" I immediately regret what comes out of me as I can predict what he'll say.

"You could put your head in my lap."

_**You could put your head in my lap.** _

We say together, his mouth dragging forward as the words in my mind anticipatehis. It was so obvious I should've seen it coming sooner. "I wouldn't mind," he confirms so, a smile warming the frame of his perfect face. _Fuck_ _ **[Your name]**_ _!_ I mentally curse as my lips dare to twitch upward and return the smile. I quickly force myself to face the window and Steve gets inside the car. He turns on the engine, while my knees follow my lead to put some space between Bucky and me.

The gate gets opened, and the only way I'm able to tell is by the noise it makes, since I don't dare to look forward, and accidentally find the blond's gaze in the rearview mirror. I also don't want to seem eager to get out of this place, so I put on a poker face and my risky journey begins.

At first I see the grey road, dull in its own flat color. The car jumps from time to time due to the irregular path, but soon it steadies as we enter the woods. White snowflakes fall from somewhere between the branches of the trees, coating the ground with its pure tint. It's quite a sight and I'm almost relaxed to see the view, yet it ends as fast as I hear Steve's voice interrupting the silence.

"So, what's on your mind?" his eyes glance at me in the rearview mirror.

For a moment, I linger on the idea to not say anything; but as our eyes meet, I choose against it. "Nothing really," I begin to say, "the view is quite beautiful and I have nothing on my mind," I conclude before my inexpressive face fix on the window.Even if I can't see them, I sense on my skin how tensed they are right now - probably because of something I said. I wonder if I came out as too casual for someone who's supposed to have had a panic attack.

The thoughts fill once again my skull, as the idea to jump out of the car surface among them. I quickly shake my head to reject it, as I'm aware that's just a dangerous and unplanned move. Though, I feel like it might be my only chance to actually escape.Suddenly, a wave of realization fills my insides, as I convince myself they won't really let me reach for my apartment. And if they do, I don't know how I'll be able to run away before they catch me. At least here, I'll have a chance to hide in the dense woods. _This is my only chance_ _._ I make these words the only reason I'm still alive, and so I get brave.

I turn to Bucky, doing it bluntly so he won't get suspicious of my next action. He briefly looks at me and smiles, which causes me to get chills on my back. Then, I glance at the door handle while shivers run along my fingers. _I'm so close..._ I whisper to myself.

_**QUICK!** _

In a swift movement, I reach for the handle and tug at it to open the door. I push itas fast as I can and then jump out of the ongoing vehicle. I remember to roll on myself to not get hurt, but just as quick as I fall on the rough road, I get on my feet and begin to run.

I hear Steve brake sharply not much longer after my performance, and Bucky's yell is muffled throughout the distance, which I ignore to not bring myself to care what he's saying. I keep running toward the trees, hoping to make them lose track of me. I also try to run in different ways, and slide in order to leave confusing footprints on the fresh snow. _If_ I'm lucky, they'll lose sight of me.

" **[YOUR NAME]**!" the brunette shouts, to which I don't reply.

"Where are you going?!" Steve's voice is so much softer; and yet, I sense the danger boiling in him. Worse than what I could with Bucky.

 _I must resist!_ I try to bear the fact that my chest is exploding. I'm not used to run so much and so fast. I feel the adrenaline flow in my veins as I clutch at my bag. The image of the knife comes to my mind as I'm tempted to use it, but I rapidly discard the idea since I'm not ready to fight or even die. Still, I'd prefer death rather than being kept caged without any freedom.

"Stop **[Your name]**!" once again, I hear the blond's voice. "Let's talk!" he screams as if he's sure I will listen to him. _So optimistic._ I bet he even thought I'd trust him since he's a 'hero', but in fact - at least in this story - he's just a psycho. Or a sociopath perhaps, but I don't want to find out right now, or ever. Generally speaking.

I sense the blood pump in my body, a rush to get on my legs and then go back in my chest. My heart beats so much in a minute I think I might not feel it anymore, not in a few seconds anyway. The sound of their muffled voices becomes clear with every step taken forward, which could only mean that they're getting closer. The fear shows on my features as I don't dare to look back. I'm so tempted as I run out of breath, my left hand actually flies inside the bag on my side without my consent, searching for the blade on its own initiative.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I scream from the bottom of my lungs, distress unbinding through my mouth.

"Please, **[Your name]**! Let's talk-" Steve's sound is cut off by Bucky's- "stop!" he commands, voice low and tone deadly firm.

 _It's time._ I'm sure I won't get away like this, so I hold the knife handle and swift it out of my bag. Then, I abruptly stop in front of a tree and turn around, my arm fast to point the sharp tip against my throat, as I threat the two men to take myself out. They're frightened as much as I am to commit suicide, or as much as I would be if I were in their position... obsessed with someone I think I love. And of course, those feelings aren't real. _Damn, this whole place is irrealistic and fake._ Venom spits out of my thought.

"Don't come any closer," my vocal chords don't tremble and I make the sound get out clear, "or I swear I'll fucking slice myself to death!" I threat with only words, for now.

Pants fill the air and prevent the silence from ruling into the desert wood. We're all tired from the chase, but I bet they'll recover way faster than I can.

"Wh-what are you doing, doll?" Steve's voice seems to fall apart as he stutters, scared.

"DON'T PRETEND!" I feel my throat sore from the run, the screaming and the knife held against it.

"I know what you are and what you d-do!" It's my turn to stammer.

"I don't want this! You won't let me be free..." I barely whisper the last part, feeling regret into what I'm about to do, "but what else can I do?" I question, mostly to myself.

I feel helpless while my eyes lower down to the snow beneath my shoes. Though, I don't lower my attention. "DO NOT TAKE ANOTHER STEP!" I quickly press the blade harder on my skin as I see Bucky move. The blood begins to spill, gently shading my neck and collarbones while I recoil. My back brushes against the log as I try to not lean on it. Both the blue pair of eyes round and the panic fills them. The brunette stops but does not step back.

"I don't want this..." I truly do not, but I can't stop the tears from running along my cheeks. The first drop comes from the left eye, the second soon follows from the right.

"You were cruel to me," I state, leading the two confused gaze upon me.

"What do you mean, doll?" Bucky almost makes me relax as his vibrations reach my chest.

"I-I," I don't even know if I should tell them the truth, as I might as well die today, "I read of you. Of this place, of everything you did to me."

I stop feeling the dull pain that accompanied me since the cut, and I also begin to feel weak as my arm lowers just a few inches. _I must resist! The cut is not deep enough. I must kill myself!_ My mind is blurred as it is the thought with it. I'm scared to press harder against the weapon, but I have to do it.

"Please doll, let's find a solution together..." Bucky pleads and soon Steve follows him with the same puppy eyes the other one is wearing.

"Don't force me," I say before my body fails me.

Chills run down my spine while I quiver underneath my skin. I feel cold and after a few seconds, I feel my legs go limp before I fall into the pool of bordeaux human fluid. This is it. I probably lost too much blood and now I'll freeze to death too... or that's what I hope. In the end, I also cannot feel anymore the hot liquid covering my coat, staining it with the sin of yearning a sick love.

Before actually passing out, I catch on the noise of fast steps approaching me. Then, two arms rise me up from the - probably - reddish snow, carrying me with a quick pace and keeping me close.It's nice to go like this.

_I feel their warmth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of problems with my pc lately so I thought I'd tell to you all. Don't worry if nothing was posted for a while, I'll get back on track once I resolved everything. It'll most likely be a week or so until the next chapter so don't lose hope!


	4. Unpleasant wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the hospital at the avengers facility. You're not alone but you feel like you were.

I feel confused. My body feels heavy as well as my eyelids do. It takes me a great strength to open them, while I lazily try to see where I am. All that I get from the blurred view is a white, cold room and light blue sheets covering me. _What..._ I attempt to fix my pupils on my arm, realizing that the uncomfortable sensation I have on my elbow crook is caused by a needle.

"Wh-what," I suddenly regret using my voice as I feel a sting lacerate my throat. _Fuck,_ I curse, my eyes shutting down due to the pain. Once again, I find myself trying to spot details, letting my irises travel everywhere to understand more about my conditions. A flash spawns in my brain as I see somebody sitting next to me, their head low as all I can figure out is that they have blond hair.

I recall what happened to me; how I actually 'accidentally' tried to kill myself, and how it apparently didn't work out. I bet the pressure I sense on my neck is the result of the bandages protectingmy wound. _Looks like I lost it._ I sigh, the distress flowing over my throat as the air gets out of my mouth. I look at my left. The man on the chair must be Steve; and while I don't want to face him right now, I wouldn't be able to talk anyway... not without also feeling pain while doing so.

As unlucky as I can be, Bucky walks in - in what I suppose is a hospital room, his blue orbs promptly catching upon my **[color]** ones. His gaze seems to light up for a brief moment. "She's awake," he tells his pal, making him jump straight and move toward me. Steve's hands are fast to grab my left one, holding it tight as if he'd be afraid to let it go. His eyes speak to me on a deep level. Hurt and remorse are what they share while Bucky steps closer to us.

"How are you feeling, doll?" his voice is just as broken as his soul seems to be.

"I-I..." it feels awful to speak, but I try my best, just as I try to not cry.

"Hey hey hey, don't push yourself, love," Steve says apprehensive, which makes me turn around and concentrate on the brunette. I cannot stand all the emotions revealed in his eyes right now.

"You really scared us back there," Bucky confirms with a gentle sigh following his words. He pinches the bridge of his nose in relief and a bit of disappointment at the same time.

Shame washes my face before my cheeks burn as I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't want- I _can't_ face them right now. I just did the most stupid thing in my entire life, and I also failed it. Bucky seems to sense my chagrin and the back of his hand soon finds my right cheek, stroking lightly the skin to support me, I guess. _Weird._ I don't remember him being so gentle with me in the story I read. Maybe I never paid the right attention. Though, I relent because his knuckles feel nice at the moment.

"Why did you want to die?" Steve's voice is soft as he draws my attention back to him. Yet, his question feels somehow harsh as he stills, and Bucky tenses up. _He changed his mood all of sudden._

"Why did you harm yourself?" he whispers, "want to explain yourself?" his eyes rise from my hand and his gaze is direct with mine.

His stare is clear: he hates my actions and he's on the verge to hate me too. If only he didn't 'love' me as much as he does, I'm sure he would've already kicked me out of his life.

"You're so silly, **[Your name]** ," he mutters, shaking his head while his tone keeps the same tenderness.

"Steve, it's okay-" Bucky tries to calm him but fails miserably- "NO IT'S NOT!" the blond man screams from the bottom of his lungs. My face instantly twists in fright. I would really love to escape from this situation before this thing- man- explodes. The sound is so loud it scares me to death, and I think I'm about to have a panic attack. A real one. I always hated to hear people yell, especially if they were angry at me.

"WE'RE HERE, READY TO GIVE YOU THE WORLD," his voice echoes, "AND YOU FUCKING WANT TO KILL YOURSELF?!" There is hate in his tone, but I still sense it's not directed to me but my actions.

"WHY?? I TRUSTED YOU! AND YOU B ETRAYED ME!" he shouts hard, making me jump in my skin as I try to find the words to say anything, "I-I'm..." _sorry._ I truly would be, only if the two men actually cared for me. Though, I lower my eyes in guilt anyway.

"Fuck." Steve suddenly lets go of my hand, storming out of the room before slamming the door shut behind him. It looks like he just had a rush of thoughts all together, and each one very different from the other. He's clearly conflicted, but I don't know exactly why.

This is the moment my eyes shot up to look at where he left. I know I fucked up royally due to the fact that he cursed. As much as I can recall, he doesn't like this kind of language. Not in the canon nor in the fanon world. But now that I just want to close myself in my safe place, Bucky catches my attention and keeps it to himself. "Don't worry, he just needs some time," he says, trying to reassure me. Maybe he thought that I care if Steve is disappointed, but this is not really an issue that is affecting me right now. I don't think it ever will.

"And by that, I mean that you _should_ be sorry," the brunette abruptly states out of nowhere, his voice low and gelidity in its tone.

"What..." I ask, finding myself repeating the same word like a parrot.

I see nothing in his eyes but an empty gaze. The sight is quite disturbing. "What you did was extremely stupid. But, unlike Steve, I know how to treat you," he confirms, confident in his own words before he glances at me. A faint smirk shows on his soft lips.

"You will _never_ leave us again," he speaks, tone threatening.

Uncomfortable silence rises in the air as I gulp, my throat even more sore as I do so. My eyes quickly take a look at the closed door, wishing I could take off the cannula from my arm and sprint toward the exit. I would simply run and not watch behind my back, as I'm sure Bucky would likely instantly follow up. Though, I'm still weak due to the blood loss, and I can't imagine how much pain I'd feel while having to breathe so fast, as the air would burn my lungs.

"C-can we talk about it?" I plead, hoping to make my prison less of a pain in the ass while I wait for the helicopter. All the more reason Bucky's not emitting a sound, I do not dare to divert my eyes from him. He's smiling though, shaking his head off like there's a thought preventing him from hearing me.

"I'll ask the nurse to bring you something to eat," he ignores me as he states that, "you must be hungry after three days asleep."

My eyelids rise in shock as I come to understand: I was knock out for THREE DAYS. The information stills heavy in my mind before my attention draws on instinct to my lower region. The hope to not feel anything out of place blows in my skull. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't refrain from taking me while being unconscious, but relief emerges on my lips as I feel untouched. Though, I'm scared of what they might do to me in the future, so the idea to follow the lead of the main story is so much more appealing than before. _I'll have to play it safe for now,_ I warn myself, reminding me to go with the flow.

I slowly force my muscles to relax, this while I look at Bucky opening the door. His head pops out of the room for a couple of minutes before a nurse comes in. She brings a tray and sets it in my lap. I stare at the creamy soup in the bowl before me, then I glance at the bubbles in the glass of sparkling water. _It must be the medicine for the pain..._

The woman leaves, and I begin to feel the heat irradiating my legs while I grow accustomed to it. My dominant hand lifts from the mattress to take a hold of the spoon, but I'm swiftly stopped by Bucky's prosthetic arm.

"I'll feed you," he says deadly serious.

"O-okay," I barely whisper. _Play along._

I let him grab the spoon and it soon ghosts my lips. The liquid is clearly hot so I keep my mouth shut, hoping he'll take the hint and wait for me to blow it first. I don't want to disobey him, but I won't let my tongue get burnt either. "Open up," he commands, which I ignore and shake my head off, not trusting to explain myself as he'd use the window of time to feed me. He mimics the action and rolls his eyes along with it, bringing the spoon to himself before speaking. "If you won't eat, then..." he takes the tool and traps it in his teeth. I know so well it's just a trick, and the fact that I can't see him swallow confirms my suspicion. My pupils load with disquiet as I anticipate what will happen next.

I was right. He leans forward and presses his lips on mine, his hand also taking the chance to wrap on the back of my neck. His cold fingers squeeze me in place as the soup threats to flow inside my mouth. Bucky uses his tongue to push it in and I soon find myself too much swollen to not gulp, letting the food slide down my throat. It hurts. The taste mingles with the rough of his french kiss. I sense a smirk forming on his face before he leaves me to catch my breath. The smugness fills his expression just as the soup did with my mouth.

"Please..." I utterly feel embarassed and powerless, yet, I'm not even certain for what I'm begging.

"That word won't work with me, doll," he only confirms his true nature before taking the glass in his hand.

I'm quick to follow his body with my **[color]** orbs as I watch him draw toward me the fizzy water. This time I allow him to do as he pleases, not scared to get hurt by a little sip.

I wet my lips and the plain taste covers my tongue. I'm not sure what makes me tell so, but I feel that something is definitely off. It's not normal to put medicines in someone's water without letting them see it, no? The doubt devours my guts. It's true that I am, in fact, in an avengers facility, and they probably have other rules going on around here... _oh god!_ I panic, and some kind of... _aftertaste_ drains my tastebuds. My eyes wide as I realize with the most pure of horrors, that Bucky probably put something in the liquid. I quickly try to stop the water's flow by searing my lips, but _obviously,_ it's too late. I already almost drank it all. I want to vomit so much, taking off whichever drug he made me drink before it kicks in.

"Good girl," he comments with a grin showing his white, perfect teeth.

I cough repeatedly, trying to induct the gag reflex by shoving a finger in the back of my throat. It hurts but I only push it further back. Bucky on the other end, quickly slaps my hand away before trapping my lips with his vibranium palm. I'm - once again - left powerless. His pink hand goes for the spoon, ready to feed me with the soup; except, this time he 'accidentally' slips the hot cream on me. It's so clear he intentionally spilled it on me. As clear as the day and so real as the burning sensation I have on my legs and belly. The whole tray is upside down and the pain only increases by the second.

Dirty, wet and uncomfortable were precisely three things I didn't want to feel today. Yet, I can't bring myself to move a muscle, not even to scream due to the burn. I only sense my eyes water as it is the only reaction my body can have right now.

"You see," Bucky begins to say before letting go of my face, pushing the sheets out of the way in the meantime. "You need to learn a lesson..." he trails off as his eyes dart over my hips.

Luckily, I'm not naked. Not completely at least as I'm still wearing a hospital gown, but this won't last long. His blue eyes look at me with so much hunger that I feel it on my skin. He seems to be thinking of what's the next best move, like he's playing chess and has already programmed five more actions ahead.

His flesh arm stretches toward me, his palm reaching for my body while his digits ghost over my right thigh. He begins to travel from the knee up to my private parts, which naturally makes my cheeks blush with the reddest tint. The situation is both embarassing and frustrating at the same time. I yearned for this kind of contact for - I don't even know how - long, but this not really how I wanted it to be.

I try to look away as his index finger brushes over my panties. _I don't like it._ I cannot say or do anything as he removes the fabric, his warmth sliding along my legs before he palms my bare pubes. I sense how hot is his hand, which I wonder if it's all him or if I'm actually craving the touch. I'm gland he's using his right one and not the other around nonetheless. Although, I try hard to remind myself to not let the irrational thoughts take over me. He's going to rape me if I can't stop it. He won't refrain, therefore I shouldn't fancy him. Even if he's so handsome and hot, and... _DAMN IT_ _ **[YOUR NAME]**_ _!_ I close my eyes shut.

The squeeze of flesh against mine makes me snap out of my thoughts, as I almost sense my own pelvis due to the pressure. I feel myself through him, and it's actually awkward so I try to divert my attention somewhere else. My pupils focus on the chair where Steve previously sat; but as the brunette notices it, his voice erupts in the air. "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AWAY." As quickly as I hear him, my eyes swift back in position. He has rage written all over his face, but softens as - I'm sure - he sees the fear in mine.

"You're so pretty," he casually comments with a smile, completely changing the mood. His middle finger slowly works over my labia as I suddenly feel very sensitive. The digit brushes against the burning skin as my body blazes in anticipation, just before he slips the distal phalanx inside. _God, I'm so clinical,_ I mentally laugh, trying to get distracted from the fact that he's actually raping me right now. Better have my mind wandering somewhere else, rather than feeling everything he does to my unharmed body. At least, this is what I think before a spike of pleasure mingles in my insides.

"No doll, you don't get away like that from me," says Bucky as I feel his finger press against that sweet spot once more. He definitely has experience and I'd prefer not to know more, but I can't help myself as he uses his knowledge to bring me satisfaction. He knows how to move against my walls, fingering me slowly and almost tenderly... only for a few seconds before he begins to speed up. In a matter of seconds, he starts to rim mercilessly, pushing me over the edges to keep my attention to himself.

P - L - E - A - S - E, I try to mouth as my vocal chords are disabled and my lips barely move due to the drug. He ignores me though, using an inhuman speed to thrust inside my folds. _This is my punishment,_ I think as I feel him add another finger, stretching my walls while he pushes the palm hard against my clit. He's trying to stimulate me over the limits, which of course is working just smoothly.

I feel his nails scratch over the flesh while the muscles of his arm flex from the efforts he's putting, making me wonder how it would actually feel to have his cock inside me. _No! Stop these thoughts!_ I mentally scream while shutting my eyes, not wanting the pleasure he's giving me to drive me insane. I won't be subjugated, not by him, not by Steve, not by anyone in this world. It's hard to stay with a clear mind as the thoughts are blurred by the sensation he gives me, but I'm tough enough to handle it.

Suddenly, Bucky pushes my body for an orgasm as he rubs his palm against my clit, still finding the way to move his fingers inside and press over the sweet spot. A moan escapes from my lips as shame fills my face. I'm pretty sure my cheeks are bright red as I'd very much like to move my arm and hide myself. But of course, I can't do anything but to breathe and wait for this ~~_dream_~~ nightmare to end.

"Come for me, doll," he commands, his whole hand moving over and inside me as I feel overstimulated. Soon the pressure is too much and I feel the need to release the painful orgasm, reaching my climax to stop the built tingle I feel in my abdomen. A light scream echoes in the room, my walls squeeze as I curl my toes and come all over Bucky's fingers. We're both wet from my juices, but this is the time I realize I can move again. _So it was that kind of drug, huh?_ I ask myself as a single tear fall lone down my temple. As I regain my freedom, my head drops on the side and shame spikes once again over my face.

Slowly, just to let me savor how much power he has over me- Bucky pulls out his fingers while parting them along my walls. He stretches them before leaving me empty. He's wearing a satisfied smirk before his digits get past his lips, tasting me like I am his meal. He feasts over the glistening liquid and sucks his skin dry. "Next time," he threats, "I won't be so gentle." My eyes shot at him as I am both mortified and horrified at the same time.

"Now let's get you clean up," he says as his blue orbs dart over my dirty gown. There's still a trace of soup on it, and it honestly stinks as its smell is mixed with mine. Plus, I couldn't feel it before as I was drawn in the act of pleasure, but I'm full of sweat. I'm full of it on my forehead, back and every fold of my body. I'm tired too.

Before my eyes can focus to see it, Bucky walks toward the door and calls a nurse from the hallway. The woman is the same that brought the food, but now she has a plastic container full of soapy water as she approaches me. Of course Bucky's not going to take care of me, as he may think this is a punishment. _Right, a punishment._ Obviously, I can only be glad he's not the one touching me as I feel much safer without his hands on me. I also feel much more sane.

"Lift your arm," requests the woman as she begins to undress me, cleaning me with a sponge before drying my wet skin with a towel. She's delicate and I slowly start to smell the good scent of lavander, my whole being overloaded with it as the traces of soup are gone. In all of this, Bucky watches me. _Of course,_ I mentally curse.

I stay still in the hospital bed as the elder woman turns around to grab another gown, quickly putting it on for me as I'm feeling way too sleepy to do it myself. _Wait..._ my eyelids try to rise but fail miserably as I realize, "fuck," I curse under my breath while I close my eyes. Bucky did not only paralyze me, but also gave me something to fall unconscious.

_Fucking..._ I begin to say as my view gets blurred and black, _pervert..._ I trail off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so much to release this chapter but I got the lazy disease. Imagine: 5 weeks to publish a chapter I just needed to correct... now imagine how much it'll take me to actually write a chapter, correct it and publish it :)


	5. Violated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the night and feel someone touching you.

I slowly regain consciousness, feeling my body sinked into the stiff mattress as the muscles are too weak to move. At first, all I feel is how heavy and numb my limbs seem to be, as if I slept longer than I should've and stayed in bed for several hours. _A genious..._ I mock myself, thought as sassy and sarcastic as it would be if I used my real voice instead. Somehow I still have to remind myself I was in coma for three days, even if my brain can't process the information yet.

My mind quickly searches for details, only relying on my senses to check my main questions: _What time is it? Am I alone now? Am I safe?_ All good questions if you were to ask me. From what I perceive, there's no source of light in the room as the darkness rules over my eyelids. I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I'm sure it must be midnight or roughly around that time. At least I can assume I'm the only one in here, and the thought makes a small sigh escape my mouth. I feel my ribcage enlarge, my chest rising and falling as the lungs get full with oxygen. It gives me the illusion of being free.

I still vividly rememberhow scared I was under Bucky's fingers- as they roamed me without consent, feeling his eyes piercing my skin as the unwanted touch threatened to set shivers in my body. Although, thenameless drug he gave me - as I don't care to know it - prevented them from letting me move as I was kept paralyzed. _Fucker!_ I mentally roar as rage unloads in my body. My muscles tense due to the strong emotion, my nose scrunching in disgust and my eyelids squeezing on themselves to get rid of the memory.

I suddenly sense a shift of air on my bare skin. _Wait- am I naked?_ The cold breeze is in contrast to the warmth that ghosts my stomach. I freeze in place, feeling my whole realm of beliefs fall flat and broken onto the ground. The thing I recognize as a hand travels unperturbed over my belly, as another (the right one) keeps a tight grip of my lower back. The fingers sink into the flesh as half of my body - from below the abdomen to be precise - is lifted and held out of the hospital bed.

I'm burning under the tap of the chill air, as I'm now _very aware_ of how much exposed I am in this exact moment. This is the second time I was undressed by someone else in less than twenty-four hours, and the only idea drives me mad about it. _I wish I could cover myself,_ I say, whispering even in my mind as I sense the blanket lose next to my waist. I feel my own thought broken and I'm so scared that I actually fear whoever is touching me, can also hear everything I think.

_I won't move,_ I briefly promise to myself. The panic that raises within me doesn't make it easy though, as I desperately try to keep my body limp. I want first to understand what's happening, and then I'll come up with something to get out of this situation. _Just wait... nobody is going to blame_ _you_ _for being careful,_ I try to reassure myself, which doesn't really help while I still want to believe that what I'm doing is the right way to react... at least in such a situation.

The warmth of another body irradiates mine; and even if it's not pressed against me, I bet it's rather big. Bigger than mine anyway. So it's not a woman's, but as mellow masculine grunts begin to fill my ears, I am confident about the fact that I already knew that. The sexual tension inevitably grows in the small room with every lewd noise.

This is precisely what I thought it was, and what I desperately wished it would not. "So soft..." my body freezes again at the unexpected comment murmured just above me. _Does he know that I'm awake?_ I ask myself while I cringe to what I hear. My instinct kicks in and I force myself to keep still. I even put on a poker face to pretend I'm still asleep. I don't know if it's Bucky or Steve, but I hope I can fool him through all of this.

I feel him bending against my chest, his hot breath tickling my face as it hits my - suddenly - sensitive lips. My eyebrows want to knit together but I stop them. Rough and calloused palms cup my lower back, lifting me slightly as I try to not shriek away. The feeling is both stimulant and unnerving at the same time, which of course doesn't help me into staying motionless. I want to stop his hands from traveling over my skin, and yet I'd much more want them to play harder on my body. _Fuck you,_ I mentally tell myself, hating my own mind for driving those thoughts to me.

The hands still work on my flesh while I debate with myself. They keep touching me gently as if I was a porcelain doll while they manhandle my body. I bet it's Steve, as I definitely feel different underneath his fingers. They work with so much care that I, somehow, feel it through the contact. The other soldier was less of a gentleman while violating me. _Yeah, this one is violating me too._

"Don't wake up, please..." I freeze once more at the soft whisper beside my ear, feeling like I might pass out at any moment. I shouldn't, since I don't want to be at his mercy in any way rather than how I am now. _If he wants me, he will take me only while I fight him,_ I think before forcing myself to open my eyes and look at him.

My **[color]** orbs meet his blue ones. We stare at each other for a few seconds. I suddenly regret my action, but as fright grows not only in my soul - but in his gaze as well, the courage flows back in my blood. It's only a moment, but I dare to glance at the view of his half naked body in between my legs. _No no no!_ I squeeze my eyes shut. The dread wipes the braveness out before I start to tremble underneath him. I'm not ready to face him, but I need to open my eyes again. And so, I do it.

I unwittingly dart my irises at the erected member out of his pants, and as my pupils enlarge, it twitches in response. My heart skip a beat while my gaze gets back on Steve, the latter stares at me with a small curve on his lips. There's no way he doesn't know I felt thrilled when I looked at the very thing that makes him a man. I bite my lip conscious of it, but then regret what I have just done, as I don't want to look more involved than what I already am.

"I'm sorry, doll," he says like he's mocking me.

I see a veil of lust and amusement in his eyes, probably due to the turnout of the events. Yet, something sweeps those emotions away before the grief takes place in his skull. It calls for his conscience to return, and his hands begin to travel - frantic - around my hips to prevent me from falling, before tucking himself back in his jeans. A small, _tiny_ laugh comes out, unwanted, from my mouth. I uncomfortably find his behavior cute and funny in a way. _Stop thinking like this,_ I scold myself, resuming my composure as Steve seems to have noticed that giggle.

I soon can look at him without feeling any more embarrassment shading my face, and his hands are still working to have a grip on my thighs and set me back onto the mattress. He's careful as he manhandles my body, his hold being light as he covers me up to just above the navel. _Well, that will do,_ I try to look on the bright side, still disappointed to have my bare chest at show. _I guess a man can only do so much._ "I'm sorry you had to see that..." he says genuinely, but while I stop the words to terrify me, I try to understand if he's either talking about his dick or his attempt of rape. Both the options are scary. Though, I try to work up the courage to speak, and it takes me a bit to actually manage something out of my throat.

" _This_ is one of the many reasons I tried to escape," I say bitterly, "and then _tried_ to kill myself as well," I dare to add. My eyes glance somewhere else in the dark room as I realize I'm not feeling sore, to which I'm glad since the 'medicine' probably helped my injury... other than just paralyze me. Though, I still sense the tight bandages around my neck when I swallow.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Steve's face twist and change expression. I bet he's at least a little bit ashamed from what he's done, and maybe he's regretting his choices in life. _Good,_ I briefly comment to stop myself from smirking. I think it's okay to feel sadistic in this situation, right? "What you said back there in the woods..." the blond's voice reaches my ears and gets my attention, "is that the truth?" he asks hesitant.

"Yes. I guess I come from some kind of parallel universe," I reply and shrug.

"I believe it's nothing new to you or this world anyway."

"Well-" he tries to debate but I instantly glare at him.

As I keep my eyes on him, I realize that something is different. I don't exactly understand what has changed, but I sense it in his voice and perhaps, in the way he's behaving with me. The monster sitting next to me is actually looking much softer, showing his human feelings too; even now as he unconsciously displays them to me.

I turn to my left and look at how his eyebrows are knitted together. He frowns while his baby blue irises search for a retort somewhere on the floor. I don't know if he's feeling remorse, but from what I perceive, I bet that's the only emotion refilling his reality at the moment. And somehow, I feel a bit safer around him.

"What will happen to me now?" I ask boldly while my voice remains coy.

Steve's eyes dart at me, his eyelids lifted and round as he looks surprised I even asked that. He stays silent nonetheless, leaving the air in the room empty as the tension grows within my body. I release a soft sigh before I let my head fall foward. I'm way too tired to cope with a shy child who broke his favorite toy.

Rage slowly flows in my veins as I try to keep cool, not wanting my emotions to play over my face, for Steve to read them. He's not Bucky... but neither he is stupid.

"Fine, don't tell me," my tone is extremely harsh as I lose a bit of my temper. _He's not stupid,_ I remind myself while random thoughts solicit me to let him know I'm pissed off. "I guess I'll die," quoting a meme almost feel funny in this situation. _Almost._

As the words leave my mouth, something snaps in Steve's mind as he abruptly stands on his feet, his pupils wide as his eyes fuel with madness. Terror takes possession of my mind when our gazes meet; and then, fright lays over my soul as his hands grasp at my hips, pulling me toward him and out of the bed. My hands clutch at the sheets while the nails dig in them, which of course is not enough to stop the super soldier from dragging me toward him. And just as before, I find myself dangling with only my back keeping me safely onto the mattress.

"Don't ever say that again!" his voice thunders as he leaves me a command, one I am sure to not infringe.

"Wh-what?!" I ask petrified.

Silence doesn't get to rule into the room as grunts and wails fill the air, but this certainly doesn't leave me with an answer. The blond man is not willing to talk, so I lift my eyes to look at him and pressure him. I hope that my gaze will force him into saying something. Anything. And as we share our sight for a moment, something snaps.

Unluckily, I end up carving another reaction from him. Our lips connect with an aggressive crash, his soft pair splitting to share an inhuman amount of saliva. I can only stare wide at him while he squeezes his eyes shut.

The kiss lasts a few seconds of hunger as I see multiple feelings flowing over Steve's face. The frown showing how desperate he is, and the flared nostrils speaking loud of how much anger he's filled. Something makes a pang reach my heart when I feel Steve's teeth caging my bottom lip, nibbling at it with so much need that for a moment- just a moment- I think he's gonna bite me and rip the flesh from my face. I cannot help but let a lewd moan pass through our joined mouths. _I don't want to,_ but I'm actually enjoying the raw attention he's giving me.

Finally, Steve leaves my lips and let me breathe, taking a quick glance at my red cheeks while he pants. _So I'm not the only one_ _struggling_ _..._ _I thought he was a_ _n enhanced_ _human_ _,_ I mentally note as I try to get in my lungs as much air as I can. I didn't forget he still hasn't replied, but I can pretty much ignore it in a moment like this.

His hands begin to travel fast over my body, squeezing my hips and leaving small red marks of his fingers. He doesn't care if he's hurting me; and not even wincing at the pain, stops him from handling me as if I were a doll. So his right hand reaches for my breast and wraps around it, his palm rubbing hard against my nipple.

At first, the movement is slow. His touch is harsh as his index finger and thumb seal together in a strong grip. Steve pulls and plays around like my breast is just some kind of stress toy. "Argh! Please stop!" I moan due to the pain he causes me, begging out aloud before I reach for his hand. I get a hold of his wrist and palm, my digits pressing against his knuckles when I try to divert him from my sore chest. My eyes are locked on him. In a second, he swiftly grabs my arms and push them upward, caging my wrists tight in one of his hands. I almost feel the bones crash underneath the pressure he's putting, which makes me whimper in pain. Although he's already being hard on me, the gesture seems more like a warn rather than a punishment. Our gazes meet, and his blue orbs tell me this can _only_ get worse. _Please no!_ I'm terrified.

"Stop," he commands when I struggle. His voice is absolute while his eyes get darker with each passing second. I shake my head quickly in a nod, my eyelids wanting to shut down as I force myself to keep an eye on him. _I cannot let my guard down._ "Good," he simply replies before losening a bit the grip on my wrists. His right hand begins once again to travel over my skin. The sensation burns me with every soft touch.

The first thing Steve does, is to make sure I'm all displayed for him. He pulls the sheets aside, then he takes a look at my tiny body - compared to his. A smirk find its way onto the blond's face, and he uses the back of his right hand to caress my cheek. I struggle to stop the shivers, but I'm not strong enough to hide the little shakes and so he notices them.

"Don't worry, doll," he says self-confident, "it won't hurt in the end."

"W-will you be gentle with me?" I can't help but ask as my tone gets shy. It almost feels as if we were lovers making love for the first time.

"If you behave." His threat hovers in the air.

Tears spill out of my eyes as I blink them away. This doesn't feel sexy or hot, and I less feel comfortable. Also, there's a tiny spark of pain crumpling in my stomach as I see lust written all over Steve's face. He can't hide his expression, not that he wants to and not while he's so drawn into the view of a naked woman beneath him. _Me, of course_ _._

Once again, he begins to work his way inside me, his hands briefly letting me go to unzip his jeans and show the powerful vim that finally sees the light. His cock twitches as soon as I'm greeted with it. The meat probes the soft flesh inbetween my legs, brushing slightly against my labia, which pushes a low whine out of my mouth. I quickly close my eyes to not see Steve smiling, as I'm sure he's pretty much satisfied with how many reactions he's getting from me. _Fuck me,_ I growl frustrated.

"God, doll... you're so warm and cute..." he comments, and I can only guess where he's staring at right now.

"Please, it's embarrassing," I simply plead.

"I love it, doll."

One hand reaches for my breast all over again, this time much more gentle as Steve actually pays attention to please my needs. Another moan leaves my mouth as I bite down to the bottom lip, hoping hewon't say anything about it. "I want to hear you." _Never mind._ His index finger plays with my nipple as if it were a joystick, moving his digit slowly around it before he begins to tug. "Ah-" I do as he asked me to, letting the light wail come to life This is not a battle, and I'm not gonna force myself to stay silent. It's useless anyway. If he wants to hear me then he can, but that doesn't mean I'm enjoying this. It's still something done against my free will.

"That's it, sweetheart." His voice is soft; so soft I'm not sure whether it's the same person talking from the one before that - by the way - threatened me. "Don't stop yourself," he demands when his left hand approaches my lower region, giving himself space between his erection and my hole to brush over my clit. His fingers ghost over it before applying pressure, which sends tiny sparks of pleasure spiking in my guts.

"S-Steve!"

"Daddy," he corrects me.

Shame flows over my face as my skin burns red due to the blood streaming under it. I can't bring myself to call him that, so I'd rather stay mute instead of vomiting out that word. Steve _does_ seem to mind though, lowering himself to whisper in my ear: "Say it." I part my lips, sighing in the process before releasing a small, choked 'daddy'. As soon as he hears it, he seems satisfied and returns to rub my bud with his thumb. He's actually taking his time to pleasure me, which is somehow working, even if I still have fear settled deep down in my heart.

The lust grows in his eyes as he watches me gripping onto the bed, as I use my nails to dig into the mattress and steady my body. I'm shaking a little as arousal prevents me from thinking straight. My eyes quickly shut when I sense Steve's finger probing at my labia, teasing the warm flesh with slow strokes before pushing in. I'm pretty sure I did a mess with my juices, so that he's now sliding his whole finger in without traction. There's- pleasurable- pain circling my insides as my walls tighten around him.

"Woah babe, you're so tight..." he comments the obviousness.

"Y-yeah no shit Sherlock," I reply sassy.

I'm not ready for what comes next. Steve does not only push another finger inside me without warning, but he also uses his free hand to smack my thigh. As he lets go of my hip and is no longer supporting my lower back, my legs instantly wrap around his waist as to not fall. There's a bright red mark forming where his hand made contact with my soft flesh, and it also stings as very few things did in my life so far. "Enough," that's all he says while he glares at me, giving me a moment to process what happened before moving his fingers.

He starts to roughly ravage my hole, pushing his digits against my walls, getting closer to wheremy g-spot should be. And then- I feel it- my whole body spasming as a wave of pleasure erases my mind. He found it and is now working on it with every thrust of his skilled fingers, stretching me more than what would make me comfortable. The hand that smacked me is now tight around the thigh he hit, gripping the skin and leaving more bruises.

"OH MY GOD!" I let the yell fly in the air as I come all over the man's hand.

My throat burns but is nothing I can't handle. Out of the blue, Steve's hand leaves the place against my sex, getting as far as he can before drying it over his own jeans. "What..." I ask confused as I meet the blond'sremorseful gaze. This is the moment I realize that I'm crying, and the tears are not of joy or pleasure, but from extreme pain. Even if I orgasmed, it doesn't mean it wasn't forced, and I bet he must've realized it just now.

"I-I'm so sorry, doll!" he says as his eyes get lighter. His hands travel fast to put me in bed and cover me with the blanket. This time, my chest is no longer exposed like before. "I shouldn't have done that..." he whispers while putting his cock back in, not caring that he's still aroused.

"Yeah..." I murmur while looking away.

"Doll-" his voice is frantic- "I won't hurt you anymore, I promise," he speaks loud.

_It all happened so fast..._

_My eyes feel heavy and my head dizzy. I can no longer concentrate on anything else as I slowly drift alseep._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I feel like my writing is getting dull and while I still write a lot, what I narrate is not enough for the reader to immerse themselves. The point is: if you ever feel unsatisfied with what you just read, let me know and tell me how to improve my style!


	6. Let's come to an agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know there's no way to escape from the two super soldiers, so you decide to make a deal with them instead.

I shift uncomfortably in my sleep, turning from one side to another as I slowly gain consciousness. First, I push my head to the right and the body soon follows it, leaving me in a twisted pose that hurts my hips and neck. My eyes squeeze as a loud noise reaches my ears, raping them without mercy as rage fills my soul. _I hate when people shout early in the morning._ I want to keep sleeping, but whoever is yelling, clearly doesn't care about it. So I force myself to wake up and drive the sheet aside, freeing my limbs from the warm trap. My eyes blink fast as I try to adjust to the light coming from the window.

"Good! See what you've done!" Steve's voice is full of anger.

"Me? Are you serious? You're the one loud in here." Bucky keeps his tone calm as opposed to his mate.

_Why the fuck are they arguing now?_ I ask myself as I grunt in displeasure, feeling sore in my throat as I try to speak. I don't know if the pain I feel today comes from the fact that the medication has worn off, or if it is due to the scream I released tonight after coming from Steve's fingers. Either way, I don't care; it just _hurts_ a lot.

"Don't push yourself, love," the blond man quickly says as he walks closer to the bed, getting my hand in his while he gives me soft strokes over the knuckles.I read worry in his blue orbs as they unsettle me for how long they bore in my **[color]** ones. My breath's rhythm increases in the intensity, making my torso involuntarily move faster. My eyes quickly dart away while I try to keep cool, not wanting to have a panic attack in front of him. "See?" Steve's voice is harsh and stronger than before as I'm sure he's talking to Bucky. A heavy sigh is the only reply he gets before his attention turns once more toward me.

"How are you feeling?" he asks softly.

"I..." _I feel awful._

I cannot bring myself to talk. I feel like my voice will falter if I use it to explain my thoughts, so my first choice is to stay quiet and hope they'll leave me alone.A very unrealistic wish for me. Now it's Steve's turn to sigh, one of his hand leaving mine as he pinches the bridge of his nose. From what I perceive from the corner of my eye, he looks tired, lost and as if something is bothering his fragile mind. _The mind of a psycho,_ I quickly remind, releasing a deep exhale as I let the idea to escape, sink into the depth of my brain.

For a moment, I wonder what would happen if I were honest with them. I'm not sure what I want to obtain, but something in my mind is telling me to try, to tell them everything and to ask to be free. Well, not as free as I'd like, but at least the right amount for the three of us to be happy... _together_. I cringe at the thought as I'd very much like to run away, but maybe there's still a solution- a plan to get my liberty.

"Can we..." I force myself to make my vocal chords work, suddenly a spark of hope flooding my insides. I oblige my body to lift from the cushion and my pupils to meet the view of the two super soldiers. "Can we come to an agreement?" I simply ask, my voice soft and questioning. It looks like I surprised them, as they didn't expect to hear anything close to the phrase I just formulated.

"What are you talking about, doll?" Bucky is the first to reply after staring at me with his arms crossed.

"Yeah baby, explain yourself please..." Steve is so cautious with his words.

I don't understand why, but my throat wants to close around itself. Maybe it's due to the tension rising in the air; or maybe I'm just a coward and can't imagine to outsmart them, but I need to try anyway. It takes a great strength to even open my mouth, and there's only a shallow breath leaving my lips. My eyes begin to frantically travel around the room, as I do not control them anymore. I feel my head spinning and I'm pretty sure my chest is going to explode soon.

"I-I," I stutter as I try to speak. It seems that Steve noticed I'm troubled, so he's fast to grab tightly both my hands in his, squeezing them lightly to reassure me. I should be afraid; I should be scared but his actions actually help me to stabilize myself. Even Bucky takes a few steps forward with concern written all over his face, which really makes me smile. _They - somehow - care for me after all..._ I mentally note.

"I thought- we could find some kind of agreement," I begin to explain, my mind upside down as I keep my voice steady. Expectant even. Then I stop for a moment, letting myself to take in the view of their reaction. My [ **color]** orbs jump from Steve to Bucky, seeing hope on the blond's face, and hesitation in the brunette's one.

"I-I mean-" I cannot help but to stammer- "y-you want _me..._ right?" I put it as a question when in fact, I am well aware that they _do_ yearn to possess me. Steve seems puzzled when he hears that phrase. His ocean eyes search for mine while his lips curl into a thin line. He gently shakes his head as if to say 'don't you know already?' which actually bothers me.

"I am _willing_ to promise to stay here," my voice quivers for a moment, "with you; and to _try_ to love you." I take a deep breath, as I'm sure the next line will be one of the most hard ones I'd ever say in my life: "if you promise to give me freedom."

_That's it! It's not like I can negotiate with them, but if they're dumb enough, maybe they'll listen to me. After all,_ I reassure myself, _it's in their best interests to have me willingly._ My mind fills with hope as I suddenly feel the great need to look away, and pull my hands away from Steve's. He doesn't let me though, as his grip also tightens around them.

Bucky is the first one to speak, as I'm already used to him being the one that handles better these kind of situations. "So, let me get this straight," he finally sits on the bed after a slow stroll toward it, "you'll stay with us, but you want to be free... right, doll?" The way he puts down my words, makes it look like I'm not willing to actually remain here. "That's not quite it," I sigh, my mind spinning as I need to relax against the pillow. _Of course it wouldn't be that easy._

"Then explain to us," Steve urges.

"We can be together, without _you_ forcing yourself on _me,_ " I put emphasis over the two words, "but, as I'm going to be your girlfriend, I also want the right to choose how our relationship will be."

I speak the brave words, my head aching and butterflies settling in my stomach. _God, they dance in my guts so much._ I cannot stop but to think that maybe I'm too bold to make this request, as I vividly remember how cruel they were in the story I read- but Steve is giving me hope- and I wish to make this work, somehow.

I look at the captain, knowing he's the one more prone to agree. His eyes shout to grant me everything I'd like, and yet his lips are sealed and still. Although he looks troubled but more likely to accept my olive branch, Bucky doesn't look so willing to take my offer. My gaze falls on him. He seems to the edge to decline everything and just kidnap me, like it was their original plan after all. _As if I weren't trapped_ _already._

I begin to fidget with my fingers, cold sweat covering my forehead while a sudden rush of adrenaline reaches my legs. My body reacts on its own, screaming to run and get away as far as I can before it's too late... but I stop whichever move, leaving them a chance at least. "You'll never try to _leave_ us again?" Steve's voice draws my attention back to him, since I was focusing on the sheets beside me just a moment ago. There's worry in his tone, which seats heavy over my skin when he asks serious. His blue orbs bore into my **[color]** ones. The message is clear: he wants me to be honest with him. _Not the time to lie, I guess,_ I forfeit before a sigh escapes my lips.

"Yes," I say, perfectly conscious of what he meant when he asked me that. He's obviously afraid that I'll try to commit suicide once again, just like I did in the woods. After all, I would be useless to his pitiful happiness if I were dead. _Damn,_ I don't know where all this hate is coming from. _Maybe from the fact that they both raped me?_ It's not a question.

"Of course," I add, letting the words roll over my tongue nonchalantly, "but you have to promise to not force yourself or anything else on me." As soon as I finish to talk, the tension rises in the air as well as the anxiety does in my body. I quickly take a glance toward Bucky, and then back on Steve. For a brief moment, all my thoughts are replaced by the fear of getting too far, as they'd might reconsider my proposal. Actually, the brown haired man didn't seem pleased before, and neither he looks now as heseemsready to spit out a firm 'no'.

"What do you mean, doll?" My eyebrows elevate as I eye the captain. "No marriage if I don't want it, and the same goes for eventual kids?" I put it as a question when in fact, it isn't, really. The silence reigns for the following seconds as none of us dare to speak. My orbs don't move from Steve as I hold his gaze. It's not the time to act shy and back up, as my future depends on it. Then, finally there's sound filling back the room.

"Can we... talk about it? Please," the blond man urges, his hands squeezing mine while his thumbs press over the back of them. It doesn't hurt, at least not the motion as his words did. It's just unnerving.

"These are my conditions..." I whisper, "n-no marriage, and kids only if and when I'm ready." Not really, but I can't tell them so right now. I'm already risking it with the wedding, so it should do the trick to give them fake hope about having a offspring together. _I'm not gonna carry their children,_ and just as I think that, the captain catches my chin and lifts it until I look at him. I didn't even realize that my gaze dozed off.

The blond man turns his head around, looking at Bucky. "Okay, **[Your name]** ," he breathes on my face, leaving me to sense the hot breeze heating my skin. We're only a few inches apart. The dread takes place inside me at the thought to kiss him, due to the fact that he looks intentioned to brush his lips on mine. I wouldn't deny him though, since it would be counterproductive. I'm also sure it took him a lot to accept my requests after all. However, our mouths never meet.

My eyes fill with a spark as I finally elaborate the information in my head. It's almost done, I just need another yes and everything will be fine. So my hand unconsciously stretches toward Bucky, offering my palm for him to grab. My **[color]** orbs shift over his figure as I gift the winter soldier a kind smile. A true one even. And so I stay still, waiting expectantly for him to give his vote. I desperately hope he'll not turn down my terms and also make Steve change idea. _He would be capapble to do so._

His body stiffens for a moment, limbs not moving in the slightlest as the blond beside me also twists to look at him. Blue orbs jump from his figure to mine and finally fall on the floor. A sigh is all he lets out before he drops his head forward, resigned to the idea that I won this game. _Okay, maybe the round._ "All right **[Your name]**. But we'll seriously have to talk about your conditions," he says matter-of-factly.

"We can discuss this later. Right now, you need to rest." He wears a smile and it slowly grows a little on his soft lips. His fleshy hand goes through his long hair as he finally holds mine with his vibranium one. The gesture, even if small, makes my whole being thrill in excitement.


	7. Not a great start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to trust Bucky and Steve, but there's something in your instinct telling you to not to.

My gaze darts at the clock. It's currently 7pm and my attention turns to the light fading from outside the window. I instinctively roll my eyes as the boredom grows within my body. It's been a flat day. Nothing happened after the discussion with those two 'superheroes'. I'm glad I actually had the guts to talk, as I have the feeling they wouldn't have been so gentle with me otherwise. I'm not sure about Steve though; he seemed pretty devastated after I woke up in the hospital.

I've spent the majority of my time in bed, treated like a fragile porcelain doll. Neither the brunette or the blond wanted me to move. _My neck is the one injured; not my legs, dammit!_ I mentally scold, knowing better than to say something so unpleasant. I would surely hurt both my vocal chords and their feelings in the process.

A small brush makes me focus back on the present as I take a quick glance at my left, seeing a certain blond man scooting closer to me on the bed. He's being clingy since we had our talk, and now he's latched to my side like a watchdog. He never dares to touch my arm, not 'intentionally' anyway. He just keeps leaning on me as if he were cold and I was his only heat source. At some point I had to go to the bathroom, and that was the only moment he fought his nature; letting me stay alone as I asked him to leave me be. _It would've been gross to pee with him standing nearby._ I shudder at the thought, shutting my eyes to not think about the scenario. I almost feel like he's suffocating me with his mere presence. Not that Bucky is doing any better by the way.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asks, repeating the same exact words he said to me for over a thousand times today. He's like a parrot, but with the difference that he's walking on eggshells. It's good to see him trying to act better, but it's getting on my nerves really, and I'm doing my best to hold back from spitting the venom I have in my stomach. _Jesus Christ!_ I shut my eyes, _breathe_ _ **[Your name]**_ _._ I sigh, trying to calm myself as to not let the rage flow out of my throat and crush the blond imposing body. Although it's not easy to keep cool, I always think twice before opening my mouth.

I take a brief glance toward the screen, uncaring to reply to Steve's question as he already knows the answer. Yesterday I didn't notice there was a television in here, and now I'm seeking to understand what's going on in the scene playing on it. The man beside me won't let me though, urging me to answer with his side glances. "Baby-" I stop him right there- "tired, I guess..." I begin to say. "It's kinda boring to stay in bed all day and watch old movies, you know?" I comment ironically. It's the fifth one we've watched today, and not only they are all beginning to blend together, but from what I perceive, this one is is about world war II. _A revival about old times._ I'm not into these kind of settings, but if I have to be honest: I'd prefer to upset them as little as possible. If I can bear to do something like this in order to please Steve or Bucky, so be it.

We keep watching the screen, the sound of shooting being the only noise that fills the empty space in the room. Although he ignored my response, Steve is still checking if I'm both mentally and physically here. He's not very subtle about it, or else he's not good at hiding his emotions. _Careful, he's a manipulator!_ I laugh at the thought for a brief moment, only for the irritation to take place in my mind. _Quit staring at me!_ I mentally scream as I'm _this_ close to punch his arm so he'll stop brushing it against my own. And just as I'm about to do something I'm not thinking to the fullest, a beautiful voice saves me from this perpetual nightmare.

"Are you hungry?" I hear Bucky talk, his metal arm gripped around my shoulders as he's sat on my right. I don't even know how they managed to both sit at the sides of my bed, since it was meant for a single person. And yet here they are, their hips pressed against mine while I'm trapped between them. _We're like a sandwich!_ I think, _they are the bread and I am whatever is the main ingredient in it._

"Yes, please." I am desperate due to the nervousness, and the fact that my stomach is actually empty. I dare to take a quick glance at the brunette, his expression not changing while I plead him. I bet my voice is letting shine through the turmoil settled inside me. "I'll fetch us dinner, then," he replies, a small chuckle escaping his lips before he sits straight. The sound somehow calms me, which makes me re-evaluate all my life choices.

The winter soldier stretches his body, his chest getting so wide in the process that I find myself staring at it for a moment. _Don't,_ I simply whisper to myself before diverting my gaze somewhere else. "Like what you see?" he asks amused, a smug smile dancing on his lips in the meantime. I cannot control the blush crepting on my cheeks, but I do my best to hide it by lowering my head.

"Any request?"

"N-no," I reply shyly.

Bucky nods, stands on his feet and is about to walk away when a sudden idea pops in my mind. I quickly reach for his sleeve with my right hand, grabbing it to stop the man from moving further. He breaks in the middle of the track and shots me a quizzical look, his eyes searching for an answer while he furrows his brow. In return, I get brave and climb over his torso, my lips curling into a sly grin before they press against his cheek. The sweet peck lasts for a few seconds before I withdraw back, my bottom landing with a thud onto the mattress. It's obvious he didn't expect it, as I can see his eyelids round the very second my warmth leaves his smooth skin. "Thanks," I add before letting go of his black shirt. Soon a smirk rises on his face as he stares at me. I do not dare to look further down than his chin though; and yet this doesn't prevent my brain from noticing a small twitch in his jeans. Not even keeping my gaze up to his eyes would let me stop seeing the prominent bulge, hard and ready to be set free. _Don't think about it._

Luckily for me, Bucky seems to remind himself why he stood up in the first place. Although before he heads out of the room, he gives his mate a brief glance. There's a noticeable smirk placed on his face, almost as a way to deliver unspoken words to the blond man. So I'm not surprised to feel something - or rather someone - tugging at my left.

Steve's hand is gentle while he turns me to meet. His grip is soft but at the same time, I sense the haste in it as he lets me face him. He seems smaller than earlier, as if he's trying to take less space near me. He also crosses his arms, and that's the detail that makes me realize: there's jealousy written all over his figure, while his eyes are full of expectations and sorrow. Even with these broken emotions, I cannot contain a small laugh; and it offends him the moment it leaves my mouth. I'm sorry that he feels this way, but he's kinda funny when he acts envious of his partner in crime.

"I'm sorry-" I'm fast to apologize, still giggling as I can't stop myself. Then, the same idea returns in my mind before my lips finally meet the blond's cheek. This time, I let the kiss last a few more seconds, my hand reaching to cup Steve's face before I leave him. He doesn't look pleased that I pulled away, but he's resigned to the idea that this is everything he'll get, for the moment. _Now they're even._

"Are you happy now?" I question, tilting my head to the side while my lips dare to tug upward.

He stays silent for a second, "if I say no, can I have another kiss?" he mumbles under his breath. The tip of his ears shades of a pink color in the meantime.

The minutes begin to pass and both Steve and I return to watch the old movie,to which I'm not really paying attention. It's just a way to spend the time before Bucky gets here with our dinner. And he does not long after, knocking at the door before he enters with a cart and three trays full of delicacies. _Ok, maybe it's the hunger speaking,_ but the grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes are literally making me salivate.

"Here you go, doll." Bucky handles me the tray with the smallest portion, which shouldn't bother me as they'd need more calories, but I can't help myself. _I mean,_ there's probably a black hole in my stomach right now, and it's starving. "Thanks," I mumble displeased before setting the tray in my lap, as I start to feast on the warm verdure. My eyes are fixed onto the plate, and yet, I can sense blue orbs watching my every move. It's not as unpleasant as I thought it would be, but I guess there's really little that can still surprise me. The thought reminds me that I shouldn't be here in the first place. Maybe it's some kind of glitch, or maybe it's just one of the million parallel universes where movies are real. I don't care to find out... my old life was not so interesting anyway. _But at least it was safe. Safer._

I keep eating, one bite after the other as I quickly fill my belly. My mind keeps wandering while I do so, and as if he sensed me spacing out, a certain captain speaks to me. "Love," I hear the blond man call for me, "do you want more?" he asks, eyeing my empty plate before offering a portion of his own. I nod eagerly as my hand moves fast to skew the food, not giving Steve the time to move it as I feed from his dish. I hear a quiet 'woah' while I chew, taking another bite even though I didn't swallow the previous one yet. Nonetheless, the two men let me have this raptus, staring at me amused.

Once I finish the last bit, I raise my gaze only to find four blown pupils boring into mine. I never thought they'd like this kind of view. I nearly behaved as a beast and still, they look at me like I'm the most beautiful flower they could find in a garden. Well, as I take a longer glance toward Steve, he looks a bit apprehensive. His eyes are serried on me, attentive to see if I'm okay. _I must've_ _really_ _traumatized him..._ I feel guilt as I think that, only to shake the thought aside. I was the one dying back then, so _I_ should be the one frightened. Not to mention the fact that I'm surrounded by psychopaths. But what does really that makes of me?

"So, what do we do now?" I ask, hoping to not hear about watching another film.

"I asked the doctor and she said you could come home with us tonight," Bucky says casually, his gaze wandering around the room.

"That means we should go at your house?"

"Our house," he quickly fixes it for me.

"Right..."

The silence seeps in as no one is making eye contact with the others. The tension in the air is so thin I could cut it with the safety scissors, and it fuels my nerves as I'm ready to speak something mean; and not necessarily against the two super soldiers. I'm still scared of them, annoyed even, no matter how they're acting toward me. It could be one minute, I could turn around and they'd stab me in the back. My eyes lose in the pattern of the baby blue sheets as I try to dissociate from the horrorful fantasy.

"Baby, look at me. None of that." Steve quickly brings me back to him as he speaks, his hands cupping my cheeks while he lifts my face to look at him. I feel myself being squeezed as he does that, but the warm sensation put at ease every my thought, letting me stop for a moment and lose my eyes in his instead. Everything is so calm when there's him in the view, but right now I get some wrong vibes. No, it's not him... I'm sure of it.It's Bucky:the winter soldier is the one that makes me feel cold and restless, and I don't know why. Maybe it's the way he stares at me. His soul digging in my heart as he's trying to get rid of the veil of lust inside him. Or maybe he's trying to share it with me.

"Let's go home," Steve uses his soft voice, which reminds me of his appearance before the serum. I remember he was so thin, and yet he had that fire in his eyes... he stood so proud when he had to face the bad guys. I don't understand why the memory came back just now. _Funny..._ I look at him, _this is so different from the canon._ I smirk at the thought, not noticing how the blondie is subtly using his charm to help me get dressed. In a matter of seconds, his fingers are working on the buttons of my gown. My bare chest is soon on display for them, but while the brunette's gaze is fixed on my exposed skin, Steve is careful to not worsen my comfort.

His hands move like a ghost over my choulders, taking off the hospital clothes before giving me a plain shirt and old jeans. I'm not even sure to whom those apparel belong, but they will do until I get something mine. _**If**_ _I have something mine at all._

It takes a few minutes and I'm ready on my own feet. I'm still weak, but I'm more prone to think it's due to the fact that I stayed in bed for a week. My legs wobble while I stretch them to stay straight and keep my weight. Someone notices it though, ignoring the true reason I'm trembling as it doesn't matter to him. As soon as Steve puts my coat over my shoulders, Bucky dares to lift me in bridal style. At first, I instinctively try to pull away; but the moment I feel his iron grip on my back and under the knees, I quickly cut off the wiggle. _Not ideal._

My left hand gently rests over his chest as I lean on him. _It's better this way,_ I tell myself, hoping that giving in won't prove to be counterproductive. He'll learn to be more... thoughtful, right? Not that it has a great matter right now, as all I can think about is the warm feeling that irradiates my body. I'm not sure if it's the closeness to the winter soldier - which should be a joke as it is - or it's the whole situation. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm in the Marvel's universe, and that two handsome men have the hots for me. And this is all I can think about when the three of us leave the hospital, get in the car and drive home.

They work coordinated: one opens the door and the other puts me in the backseat. Though, this time Bucky decides to sit in the front with Steve. I don't mind the change, but now I really wonder why he lied to me the other day. If they didn't trust me from the beginning, why letting me leave like that? They could've simply dragged me into their house and cage me in. Nevertheless, I'm not brave enough to utter a word, not about the issue that hunts my brain.

"Are you okay?" I must've spaced out again because Bucky turns over to look at me. "I'm fine," I lie, hoping he'll believe me. And it seems that he does, since he doesn't move another muscle after that.

The ride is short and soon Steve pulls the car in front of the famous house, my seatbelt unbuckled (after that the winter soldier used his prosthetic hand to fasten it) and my heavy body (like a corpse) back in the strong arms of James Buchanan Barnes. He has taken the strenuous task to carry me around, and the blond captain is doing everything else, like opening the door or turning the switch on.

"Home sweet home," says Bucky.

"It seems..." I reply.

"Don't worry doll, you'll get used to it in no time!" Steve comments excited to the prospect.

I wish I could have his energy, but somehow I begin to feel tired, like the life is draining from me. My limbs are extremely heavy, to the point I cannot keep my arms around the brunette's neck. Was there something in the food? I would've known. Unless... _No_ _ **[Your name]**_ _, trust them for once,_ I keep repeating like a broken jukebox.

"Looks like someone is sleepy," I hear somebody chirp, but I can't recognize the voice as my mind is clouded by the lassitude.

"Let's go to bed, we should already be asleep by now," says another.

I let a yawn escape my lips, my eyelids heavy while there's still fog covering my view. All I can see are a few sparkles of warm light, my eyes slowly closing before I blackout.

I fall in a deep slumber, not feeling my body being wielded around. As far as I know, I might wake up in my own bedroom and realize it has all been a dream. A weird one for sure. But surely a welcome one, as once awake, I'd be happy to find myself somewhere safer. Obviously that's not what happens.

_"Come here, **[Your name]**."_

_I can hear a male voice thrilling over my name._

_Who is it? Where am I? Why is everything so light and dark?_

I don't understand if it's daylight or midnight. My eyes are wide open, and yet I can't distinguish if all I can see is white or black. There's still that voice... so attractive... so _scaring_. He keeps singing out my name but the sound is getting closer.

I can't hear his steps. My heartbeat rushes and the blood brings adrenaline in my legs. Why do I want to run away? To hide? _Why is everything so silent?_

_"Oh,_ _**[Your name]** _ _! Here you are!"_

Two arms grab my waist from behind, sharp claws spilling out a crimson liquid out of my hips. I squirm with extreme violence, haste in my limbs as all I can think is to escape the death glued to my back. The dread makes me violently tremble as my skin runs cold. My head spins to look at him, but before I see anything more than his brown locks, I wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. It's the last chapter I wrote that I just had to correct before publishing it. From now on, the updates may be slower (like once a month or more) since I have to write every new chapter and correct it (it takes me a while to do so). I also want to start to write about other things and not only concentrate on this story. I'm already in the terminator fandom (check my profile for some one shot), and I'll soon begin to write about Attack on titan. There's also a news! I'm on Fiverr now so the updates may be slow because I'll have to work on that too. Don't worry, the story isn't dead, just walking on a sunny day with 104 °F outside...


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